Shhh. I've been here the whole time. Really.

Dude, I know. Where have I been. Spain is so one month ago. I've been busy? Adjusting, to, um, America?

Let's pretend that whole month of no posting never happened. Ok? Ok!

After I got home from Spain, I enjoyed lots of honeymoon-type feelings with my husband and it was sweet and wonderful and all of that. In between all the lovin', we pulled ourselves off of each other together and went to see our RE for our test results. I was nervous. I hadn't given this meeting a lot of thought-I was in Spain after all, and my fertility or lack thereof was blissfully far, far from my mind. Suddenly, I was smack in the middle of the whole thing again, in a bright doctor's office, talking nervous talk at my husband. It was jarring and I honestly had not prepared myself for anything. I felt like I was going into this meeting ice cold. For our first meeting, I had my charts and a paper full of thoughtful questions I had been very thoughtful about. But this time, I was bare. No papers. No thoughts.

So our diagnosis came and it was kind of lame, and also I didn't really understand everything that was said, not because it was too complicated, but because my brain just did not want to engage. I was so anxious to hear the information that I didn't hear it at all. My brain was rushing to the next thing, not hearing it, then the next, waiting for the one sentence: You are completely fine and fertile. Or: You are infertile, so sorry.

Neither happened. After reading the results of what seemed like a million tests, my doctor said based on one test, you may have mild PCOS. But none of the other tests indicate that, and you don't present that way. But we're going to start you on Clomid and progesterone suppositories.

The one thing she did say that really stuck with me was that at this point, after having tried for over a year, we have about a 3% chance per month of conceiving on our own. Clomid raises that to only 8%. I'm still digesting this. It's a toughie.

For right now, Clomid it is. We opted not to monitor with an ultrasound this cycle because they're expensive and our dosage is low enough that our doctor didn't push it. My period is due Sunday or Monday, I think, and then we're off.

So that's where I'm at. In America, happy to be home, ready to start this next thing.

Any Clomid success stories out there? I know about the lovely Superhero, but any others? I could use the daydream fodder.