Hoping

I've been quiet. I'm 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant and I have had no symptoms so far (other than a missed period and the slightest soreness in my boobs, but only when mashed pretty hard. But I'm pretty sure that kind of treatment would hurt anybody with boobs, pregnant or not.)

I spoke with my doctor last week and she said not to worry about it. But I'm worrying about it. It's almost easy to forget I'm pregant at this early stage, a little reminder would be appreciated (I'll hopefully eat those words).

Ultrasound on Wednesday, when I'll be 6 weeks and 5 days. Come on, good news!

What does cautiously optimistic even mean?

My numbers didn't double...they more than tripled! Almost quadrupled! So we're feeling good about that.

But that was three days ago. I need another test, and another. All to make sure this is really happening, that we're still in it. That our little embryo is a-ok. I need A LOT of reassurance. Because try as I might to just enjoy this moment, I'm cautious in my excitement. I have no symptoms to date (except missing my period). No sore boobs, no nausea, a little sleepiness but that may be due to the sudden absence of caffeine from my system...

I've read that symptoms often don't start until 6 weeks. It's so early. So, so early.

This is going to be the longest first trimester in the history of trimesters.

What do you know?

So.....I'm pregnant! Yep! Had a positive home test yesterday, confirmed with a blood test at the clinic. I'm all of 13 dpo.

Scarily early. Anything could happen. I know this all too well.

But I told myself that if I became pregnant again, I would enjoy it. I woudn't live in fear. That's what I'm doing (aka trying my best to do).

Second blood test on Friday. Give me a nice juicy doubling! Crossing everything crossable.

We have ovulation

My temps have risen. Finally. I'm also realizing that since I didn't take them before the IUI, I really have no way of knowing when I ovulated. It may have been Tuesday, the day of the IUI. I don't think it was any later than Thursday. They hovered around 97.7 until Friday and have gone up ever since.

So we're back in business. The waiting business.

I'm going to breathe, go to work, go to class and cook dinner for friends. I did some yoga alone yesterday and think it's time to revive my practice. These next couple of weeks will be about nurturing myself and my husband. Trying my best to live in the moment and be easy.

A good way to be any time, waiting or not.

Don't think so.

Had a gorgeously positive OPK on Day 12, went in for an easy iui on Day 13. But my temps have not risen. I don't think I've ovulated. I think something is wrong.

I have a call into my clinic. I'm feeling really discouraged, I had such high hopes for this one.