All of It

I finished my blood tests this morning, and tomorrow I have an HSG, the test where they shoot dye into my fallopian tubes to see if they're blocked. Then I hop in a car and drive home for Christmas. And do not talk about this with my family.

I might. But not with husband's family. He mentioned it to his mother and was met with silence. Because all of this means I'll definitely do IVF and I'll definitely leave many, many frozen embryos to die or stay frozen or whatever. This could really bother me but it doesn't. For once, I don't need anyone's approval and I absolutely don't care about anyone else's opinion. This belongs to my husband and me.

And guess what else? I'm going to Spain. I'm leaving in January for four weeks to take a Spanish immersion class and live and be. I'm having my cake and eating it too.

So many exciting things.

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

My appointment with my RE is tomorrow. I don't really know what to expect and am a little nervous. Also? I didn't realize that my insurance only covered tests, no treatments. Who knows what I'll need, or how many times I'll need it...or how much this is going to cost.

Which leads me to the conclusion that I should probably postpone Spain for a couple of months until I know what I'm dealing with. This could mean I don't go at all, which makes me sad, sad, sad. But what do I want more? A baby or Spain?

Maybe I could just kidnap a spanish baby. Two birds.

I kid.